The Wacky Taffy that Resulted in the Formation of my Inner Homophobe-Part 1

Let me preface this post by saying a few things: First, I do know wonderful LGBT people. Second, I think this is, in an odd way, part of my grieving process for my Drama Mama. And, Third, part of the reason why I'd rather see my kids not involved in some of this activity (including the heterosexual equivalents)-let's face it, it IS downright weird.

Drama Mama and her Scene

My earliest experiences in life were with my Drama Mama's family, her brothers, her mother and our landlord. The second phase of my life that I recall, included lots of wonderful activities with my little Sis, grandmother and Drama Mama's friend "Penny." Drama Mama met Penny in nursing school before she was kicked out and the two became best female friends forever until distance of four states separated them. When I see the two lesbians on Evolving Lesbian's blog banner, I always think of Drama Mama and Penny with Drama Mama being the voluptuous brunette and penny being the perky, shorter blonde tomboy.

I do not think that Drama Mama and Penny ever sexually experimented with their very close and endearing friendship, although modern observers might reach the conclusion they were lesbians. I also do not recall Penny ever drinking. Had Penny been a drinker, too, I am sure anything was possible. At any rate, Penny was the closest thing I ever had to a real Aunt and she was basically a good role model of an independent career woman (having completed her nursing degree and working all her life as an RN) with some common sense.

Penny was always heavy set, while Drama Mama could and did set most Men's teeth on edge physically and enjoyed doing so. The Betty Page hair cut would be a topic for another blog discussion I suppose. I recall overhearing two conversations between Drama Mama and Penny.

The first was regarding the size of the previous night's conquest's ***ahem***. Scratch another notch in the bedpost, girl. Penny wanted to know, but before Drama Mama would answer she noticed I was listening and asked me if I knew what that word was. I don't remember anymore of the conversation,and, I think I ran off into another room.

The second conversation occurred at least a year later and involved Penny and Drama Mama discussing a series of disturbing harassing phone calls Drama Mama was receiving from another woman who was making sexual overtures involving "rubber gloves and baby bumpers." Drama Mama was trying to figure out at which "party" she had met this person at and who she was. Even as a young child, remember I was well acquainted with Drama Mama's parade of Male visitor's and what they did with Drama Mama, even if I didn't understand it.

To give her a little credit, I think she had started to make a bigger effort not to conduct these activities at home when we were around (thus, we spent alot of time with my beloved Grandma). It was pretty clear to me that this caller wanted to have sex with my mother and was attempting to invite her to something really taboo. Drama Mama expressed her revulsion to this. I think this was my first exposure to the LGBT "community" so to speak and it apparently involved what we would call the leather segment of the community today.

Uncle Doc and his Mini-me

I think it was a few months later that we went to visit Drama Mama's younger brother, Doc, back home. His "roommate" was a little person (midget was the term Drama Mama and Doc used to describe him). I think his name was Dale and I remember that Dale had a really cool car with extended foot pedals. I remember Dale falling asleep at dinner and my uncle, Doc, rushing to catch him before he toppled from his stack of phone books onto the floor. I also remember Dale walking around in his briefs during this visit which really ticked Drama Mama off. Dale and Doc had porn all over the house and Drama Mama cautioned us several times not to pick any of it up.

I remember Drama Mama and Doc having a conversation where she asked him if he was in a relationship with Dale. Doc denied this but then picked up a thick sheaf of papers which was a report from a pyschiatrist he had been seeing and told Drama Mama that this report explained why he was the way he was and it was because of the family member that had exploited Grandma, Drama Mama and her brothers. However, Doc has always denied being sexually abused by this person and in later life claimed to be interested in women.

Two Lesbians, a Baby, a Few Dogs, Many Cats and a Racoon.

I inherited a house cleaning job from another Mia Maid and she told me she thought the clients were lesbians. I said what's that? She explained and I took the job and really didn't think a lot about it except how to wonder how they got the baby. I still don't know for sure if they were lesbians and this would be the time when people were still very closeted. They also left when I came to clean, which was a very good think because this was one of the three filthiest living environments I have ever seen. These two women were both RN's working in another city in nursing management at their institution. They never, ever did dishes. I did them once a week when I came in and I can assure you they did not eat out much. There were 3 or 4 dogs, and, as I recall, thirteen cats and a racoon. One of the women also had a son who was a toddler.

They maintained separate bedrooms, one of which the bed was always made. At the time, I assumed it was because that lady was cleaner. I now think it was because she never actually slept there, it was for show when they had guests or relatives. As you might have already deduced, when I did have an interaction with them they were weird. I had a conflict come up one day and couldn't call and they called and fired me. This did not bother me.

I was always rather creeped out by the idea that I could wind up in a hospital under the care of nursing staff with such utter lack of concern for basic hygiene. Despite whatever elso abnormalities in my growing up there may have been, my trailer trash people kept a clean house and I found the utter filth of the lesbians house hard to take. I now also understand that they were classic animal hoarders and that this in and of itself is a psychiatric problem.

Two Guys, Drag Queens and the Invitation to Turn a Trick or Two

One of the cities that I spent time in as a child was know for its Gay prostitution according to Drama Mama. Grandma lived there and I went to stay with her and work for a few months. Grandma lived right downtown in the pit of hell so to speak. I did find work in a fast food restaurant and took a brief trade school course during the day so I could get started in the world of work before starting school the next January in another state. Across the street from my restaurant was a bar called "Two Guys." Most of the clientele were just regular guys who most likely were gay. I do remember some rather aggressive hitting on my manager taking place by the manager of another famous restaurant in town. We had two regulars who were drag queens and prostitutes. The white guy was obviously male. However, his black companion seriously managed to elevate this to an art form and it was difficult to tell she wasn't female.

On several occassions another customer had offered me money for sex on the street. When I saw him with the drag queens one night, I realized that they were prostitutes and remembered what my Drama Mama had said, that a woman prostitute couldn't make it in that town because of the gay male prostitutes. Not that I was interested anyway in prostitution or any kind of sex work although I often wondered if one could successfully pull off escort work without getting sucked into prostitution and had concluded it was not possible.

Stay tuned for more Wacky Taffy tomorrow.