It occurs to me that now that my Drama Mama is dead and she did such a wonderful and profound act of severing our relationship (NOT FAIR, I KNOW SINCE I STOPPED TALKING TO HER), that I could go out seek the kind of parents I'd like to have. In my little fantasy world I thought that maybe I could find a nice older LDS couple wanting to adopt a nice fityish daughter with the possibility of a sealing to follow. Some people are seeking intimate fulfilment with a partner, I'm just looking for real parents. How am I going to find these people? I posted the equivalent of a personal ad.
I rather doubt that I would share my somewhat non standard something more than straight sexuality with them though, and that sends up a red flag. Truth be told, do I really want to take the risk on yet another potential failure as a parent? What if they look good on the outside but they are icky on the inside? What if they are more than I can handle? How do you rid the relationship of possible exploitation issues one way or another? And, how does one ever explain such a thing to their children and now grandchildren? My mother was a loser and now that she's dead and cannot do anything about it, I'm going to fire her, permanently, and eternally.
I think not, but it still makes for good fantasy.
A realization
9 years ago
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