I have never liked her high school graduation picture. It was the bangs. I hated the bangs. It's only been in the last year or so, while looking for vintage hairstyles, that I discovered Bettie Page. Bettie was the first "bondage" model. I'll leave it at that. No photos, no links. My mother was emulating Bettie Page in High School. No, this is not an exaggeration. I'm fairly certain.
The truth is that my Drama Mama was a narcissist. She needed to be the center of attention. When she joined the Church, she became a better person, she worked hard at it and tried to control that broken inner part. But, much of the manipulative, mean, jealous and unkind behavior that goes with that particular personality disorder still bubbled just below the surface. Just as sexuality had been an outlet earlier in her life, alternative medicine and her many practitioners and vendors became the outlet for the last two thirds of her life.
Still she mostly managed to keep the most obnoxious parts of that personality disorder under wraps. That was until her brain started to go in her final illness. Then she was in and out, with all the attendant consequences and the unfortunate enabling from the three princesses.
In the end, I still love her. And, hopefully this is the end for me in chasing all the puzzle pieces down and maybe I can now move on. I do feel a certain peace in the gospel and the atonement of Christ. It's big enough for me and my Drama Mama with all her foibles.
The prodigal blogger
5 years ago