I'm sorry if I've bored any readers to tears with processing the passing of my Drama Mama.
There is more than one picture in the photo album of me with "Penny." I can't help but wonder if my life would have been better if lived with my two "Mothers," instead of just my biological mother and her bad choice in LDS men. Penny predeceased Drama Mama by five years. Of course this assumes that they would have partnered, and while Drama Mama had admitted to having that experience open to her, she always claimed to have never taken that path.
I always said I was going to try to invest some time in reestablishing my relationship with Penny. Penny was never happy with her husband that she later married and they had children, at least one of whom, was a down's syndrome baby. I have so many memories of spending holidays and just good times with Penny. She died before I could really do that. Funny thing is that my DH actually had a better relationship with her in later life, just due to the coincidence of actually being around when she called and making some outbound calls regarding Drama Mama's mother's death.
In my heart of hearts, I would have liked to have a rational mother and father of opposite sexes, but I didn't get that did I? I have to say that in thinking it over, if I still could have somehow had the opportunity to have the gospel in my life, having two Moms in Penny and Drama Mama and no Dad, would have been better than wicked stepfather and Drama Mama together. I think Drama Mama would have been less strung out all the time and would have had a better life herself had she been coupled with Penny.
But that is all conjecture, nevertheless, I couldn't help but think of it as I looked at the many pictures of Penny and couldn't find the picture of Bio Dad I thought was in the album. Watch for a picture of me and Penny in a later post.
A realization
9 years ago
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